Over the past few weeks, I've made some welcome modifications to the physical layout of our home. Items that we no longer use have been sold or donated to people who will enjoy them, a few new items have been added, and some things that have long stood in the same spot have been given new life in a different room. When I look at the finished effect, I feel deeply satisfied with the changes, and wonder why I never thought to do things this way long ago.
The truth is, sometimes we don't think to do things differently because we are creatures of habit. It's much easier, with furniture and with our thoughts, to stick to what we're used to, because it's comfortable that way, because what we know is safe. But nothing in life is static, despite our attempts to hold on. As surely as one second flows into the next, we, too, are constantly changed, like it or not, by our experiences as we live them. While I move furniture around with ease and enthusiasm, and have no trouble parting with physical things I no longer need, I've always found it harder to accept that sometimes my way of thinking and acting need to change too, especially when the old patterns aren't serving me well. Sometimes it takes a crisis of sorts to motivate us enough to make these more profound and incredibly rewarding changes.
The past few months have been a period of inner transformation for me, too. I stood and looked at myself the way I look at a room full of furniture and realized suddenly that it was time for something new. Excessive worrying had become a tired old bed to lie on and needed to be shown to the curb. In its place, I've introduced an attitude of acceptance, of letting go, of realizing I can't and don't need to figure everything out. I'm learning to breathe, to be present in each moment, to welcome whatever may come and realize that that is living, to sit in my newly created space and enjoy the ever-changing view. It's been a relief to break free of the old, exhausting habits bit by bit, and empowering to realize I can choose to look at life differently, more healthily.
Self-transformation is difficult and sometimes tiring; it requires doing most of the heavy lifting yourself. Now that I am finally able to relax, stronger and re-energized in the warm and peaceful room I've created in my heart, I'm so glad I decided to do it. I won't be moving things back.
Thank you for your patience while I've been rearranging myself! I hope to be here more often now to once again share stories, recipes, thoughts, and laughs with you all.
