Organized chaos

People who know me will likely agree that I've always been very organized, tidy, and efficient in life. The little perfectionist inside me works hard at and gets great satisfaction from keeping everything nicely under control. I'm forever a woman of lists and calendars that help me make sure everything gets done when it should. I accomplish dozens of things in a day, having mastered the fine art of baking muffins while simultaneously shopping, dusting, and writing a blog post. Everything in my home has a place of its own; even the three colours of dishes currently in the kitchen cupboards are stacked in a particular pattern (and I get all twitchy if a rogue plate ends up out of order). I've gone through four Swiffer Sweep'n'Vacs in as many years, because crumbs left on the floor put me in an unpleasant state of agitation. That's neurotic, you say? Definitely. But creating a sense that life is structured and orderly is what feels comfortable, safe, and right to me.

Having children, however, has forced to me to realize that there are simply some things that are beyond my control. I now share a life with two boys who, in some ways, are the antithesis to organized, tidy, and efficient. Whereas I prefer a pristine and uncluttered desk as an optimal workspace, Noah prefers a desk that looks like this:


Though I feel best when everyone is wearing freshly laundered and ironed jeans, Will is much happier in pants that look like this:


I often feel pressure to get the boys to "hurry up" so we're not late for something; they like to take their time, stopping to sing crazy songs in their underwear instead of getting dressed in the morning, or collecting and studying things along the road instead of walking purposefully to their destination.

The boys baffle me with the ever-growing pile of random Lego parts that they have going beside the family room couch, even though I've provided them with storage boxes to keep it all in. I scratch my head when a child who can explain how a rainbow is made repeatedly demonstrates a brain blip about colour sorting, throwing his white t-shirts into the laundry basket for dark clothes (if his clothes make it to the laundry basket at all). Admittedly, the path of clutter and chaos the boys continuously leave in their wake has left me hyperventilating or fuming on more than one occasion. I've often wondered where I've gone wrong in communicating to them the bliss that an ordered life brings.

Over the past several years, I have come to the realization that the nicely organized, tidy, scheduled life is my idea of perfect, not theirs. I try sometimes now to relax a little when I see the haphazard piles of books scattered about their rooms, or the mountains of "treasures" they've accumulated in their closets, because I've seen that our world doesn't actually fall apart when some part of it is disordered.

I'm not kidding myself: I still prefer most of life to fall neatly into place at my coaxing, and I continue to believe that planning, organizing, and tidying are important skills for the boys to learn. But in their sometimes scattered, silly, spontaneous ways, they've shown me that there can be joy in messes, too. My latest Swiffer vacuum has lasted much longer than my previous ones because it doesn't get used quite so much, and I've traded some of my schedules in for fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants family adventures. I'll also admit something shocking: the other night after dinner I got muddy jeans playing soccer with the boys... and I liked it.

Spring greens

I washed all the winter snowsuits, hats, and mittens this weekend and put them away -- hooray! While I realize I'm probably asking Mother Nature for a spring snowstorm with that fact, the glorious sunshine and warm temperatures we've been enjoying the past couple of days, plus the happy little green shoots emerging everywhere around our yard, make me hopeful that spring has arrived for good. The weather has inspired me to think green in the kitchen as well, and while we still have a couple of months before fresh local produce is available, I've been incorporating the tastes of spring into our family meals wherever I can.

This delicious green salad is crisp and satisfying, with tart green apples, crunchy carrots and celery, and a hint of maple syrup's sweetness in the dressing. It matches nicely with ham or turkey and would be lovely with Easter brunch or dinner.

For the salad:

romaine lettuce, washed and torn
red leaf lettuce, washed and torn
celery, thinly sliced
carrot, grated
Granny Smith apple, thinly sliced then diced
toasted walnut pieces

Add desired quantities of lettuce, celery, carrot, and apple to a salad bowl.

For the dressing:

1 tbsp real maple syrup
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/4 cup white wine vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp Dijon mustard

Whisk all dressing ingredients together and drizzle over salad. Toss gently. Sprinkle walnuts over top and serve. Enjoy!


One of my other favourite spring "greens" is asparagus, and Matt and I think that the best way to prepare it is by grilling the spears on the barbecue. If you get it just right, the asparagus comes out tender crisp and deliciously flavourful.

To grill this green vegetable:

Preheat the barbecue at a medium heat. Wash asparagus spears and remove the woody ends of the stems.
In a shallow dish, toss asparagus with a small amount of olive oil, and season with sea salt and pepper to taste.
Cook spears directly on the hot grill for 4-6 minutes (depending on the thickness of the stems), turning once halfway through cooking time.
Remove asparagus from the grill onto a serving dish, then drizzle a mixture of freshly squeezed orange and lemon juices over top. Sprinkle a bit of orange and lemon zest over asparagus and serve.


Asparagus with citrus seems just right for an Easter meal; we also enjoy it frequently this time of year with grilled chicken or pork tenderloin.

The fact that in the next couple of months I'll be out planting my own veggies again makes me incredibly happy. Until then, I'll keep thinking green and brightening up our meals with all the fresh spring flavours I can find.

The birds and the bees

I told the boys yesterday where babies come from. Not a version of the story that involves a stork, or a series of mumbled half-truths that skirt around the uncomfortable bits, but the real, honest facts. I'm feeling good that we've had the first of these big "talks", and really, it went very well considering the awkwardness often associated with the subject!

The boys have been asking questions about their bodies and babies for years, and I've always answered them honestly. They have inquiring minds like scientists, and have always been fascinated to know exactly how all of their bodies' systems work. They've long known the proper names for all of the male and female parts, understood that you need a fertilized egg to grow a baby, and could tell you exactly how a baby is born. Still, I wasn't quite prepared when, several weeks ago, Noah said out of the blue at the dinner table, "So, when a man and a woman decide they want to have a baby, what exactly happens? I'm really interested in finding out how it works." I knew if he was asking these kinds of questions, he was ready to know, but neither Matt nor I felt ready to explain it all to him in detail over dinner. Matt artfully dodged the subject, but I knew we couldn't just leave it at that indefinitely, so I bought some books that week, read up on what I felt I needed to know to be able to explain it well, and then told him and Will yesterday that I was ready to answer The Question.

The boys were quiet and respectful as I shared the wonders of procreation with them, but each of them reacted very differently to what they heard, and not in the ways I expected. Will sat listening intently, gazing thoughtfully at the pictures in the book I was using, and accepted it all very matter-of-factly, as if I had just explained to him how to make a peanut butter sandwich. He asked several good questions in the hours afterwards (and I'm sure many more will come as he continues to process the information). I think he thought the act of baby-making was quite an ordeal, and seemed to be reassuring himself that people would come out of it alright when he said, "Auntie * had a baby in her, and she seemed fine. And Uncle * seemed fine, too!" To him, the whole subject was fascinating, something to keep thinking about, something to marvel at.

Poor Noah, on the other hand, was traumatized. He looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock throughout our discussion, and when I finished explaining things, he simply said, "Interesting," and disappeared upstairs. After moping around for an hour and snapping at Will and I whenever we tried to talk to him, he finally admitted that he thought the whole thing was "disgusting", that the details were burned into his brain and he wished he could get rid of them. I felt bad for him, and tried to reassure him that from a science perspective, it really wasn't much different than understanding how the brain or the heart works. I'm still glad I told him; we all know that at his age, it won't be long before some kid spills the beans in the schoolyard, and who knows what kind of information he might get from that source? I would much rather he learn about sex from his parents, in a safe, loving, and knowledgeable environment. I think he'll be okay once the shock factor wears off (and Will tried all day to make Noah feel better by saying cheerfully, "Don't worry, Noah, I think it's disgusting too!").

As for me, I was surprised and pleased at how calm, matter-of-fact, and unembarrassed I was while talking with my two boys. I think it was because I was well-prepared. If you see this kind of talk coming to a family room near you soon, I would recommend the books Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle and The New Speaking of Sex: What Your Children Need to Know and When They Need to Know It by Meg Hickling, R.N. The first book is wonderful for reading with your children; it explains things simply, honestly, with gentle humour and with illustrations. The second book is a valuable parent resource that outlines how to calmly answer your children's questions with age-appropriate information. (The author makes some compelling arguments for why it's important to talk to your children sooner rather than later, too. Based on Noah's reaction compared to Will's yesterday, I'm thinking it would have been better to explain it all to Noah when he was younger.)

As the boys get older, there will likely be many subjects that arise that will be difficult but necessary to discuss with them. I hope that by showing them an open, honest, and non-judgemental attitude in our early conversations, I've let the boys know that I'm someone they can always talk to about anything.

The unbreakable balloon

When Will celebrated his birthday with a party at our house almost a month ago, one of his little friends brought him a helium-filled foil balloon brightly decorated with the words "Happy Birthday". It was a very thoughtful gesture, and one that put a big grin on Will's face. For several days afterwards, Will could often be seen in the company of this balloon. He carried it with him from room to room, invented games he could use it in, and even parked it by his bed to sleep, where it hovered quietly next to him like a faithful friend, waiting patiently for him to wake up and play again the next morning. It was sweet to see how much joy this simple object brought him.

A week or so into the life of this balloon, however, it began to cause some problems. One night Will woke me at around 2 a.m. to tell me he heard a scratching noise in his room. He said it appeared to be coming from behind his nighttable, and he was worried that the cat might be doing something back there (which was impossible, since Will sleeps with his door closed specifically to keep the cat out). When I went to investigate, I found the balloon bobbing up and down near the heating vent. The warm air blowing up from the register was causing the balloon to scrape gently against the wall. I moved the balloon out of his room, and with the strange sound mystery solved, Will settled back to sleep. Shortly after that, the balloon seemed to disappear for awhile, and I forgot all about it.

Some days later, I was putting some clean clothes away in Will's room, and I was completely startled when I absent-mindedly opened his closet door and the balloon sprung out at me! I'm not sure how it got there (Will claims he had nothing to do with it!?) but it was starting to seem to me that this balloon had a life of its own.


Several weeks have passed since then, and while the balloon is beginning to look like a limp, wet noodle, sagging forlornly as it hovers close to the ground, it still has an unnerving way of showing up almost everywhere I go. When I look behind me after coming upstairs from the basement, the balloon is there, bobbing slowly and silently at the top of the landing.


When I walk past the family room, there is the balloon, half peering out at me from behind the bookshelves.


When I head upstairs to turn in at the end of the day, the balloon floats eerily beside my bed, unsettling me with its shiny quietness.


(I'm pretty sure there are two mischievous, grinning boys behind the balloon's location in this case, but who knows for certain?)

I don't have the heart to dispose of the balloon as long as it's still showing signs of life, but I'm starting to wonder how much longer I'm going to have to endure its moping, pervasive presence. I never guessed when Will received a nice balloon for his birthday that it would become the gift that keeps on giving (me the creeps)!

A bookworm's breakfast - 5

From the time Noah and Will could talk (and believe me, sometimes it seems like they were born talking and haven't stopped since!), both of the boys have been like roving sponges, seeking out and soaking up every interesting bit of information they can find. They love to ask questions (so many questions!) and truthfully, I just don't have all of the answers they're looking for. When we're all stumped, we like to head to our bookshelves, or to those in the library or a bookstore, to find out something new and fascinating to us. There is a wonderful world of non-fiction books available out there (thank goodness!), and this week in A bookworm's breakfast I'd like to share some excellent, informative reads with you.

3-5 year olds: Exploring Space by Marie Kolaczek (a Firefly Explore Your World Book)


This intriguing book explains some of the vast complexities of outer space in a way that is manageable and highly appealing to younger readers. Children are able to become engaged in learning about planets, space shuttles, satellites and more by opening flaps, spinning discs, pulling tabs, and even peering through a paper telescope as they read. The vivid comic book style illustrations paired with realistic ones provide readers with an effective visual connection to the many facts presented in the text. Exploring Space is a wonderful introduction to our solar system, a subject that is often highly fascinating to young ones.

6-8 year olds: National Geographic Kids weird but true! 2


Were you aware that some worms can grow to 100 feet long, or that a line of all the Harry Potter books sold could circle the earth twice? Discover these and more than 300 other wacky facts in this very informative and engrossing book! Newly independent readers will appreciate the short snippets of text on each page, and the combination of bright illustrations and gorgeous National Geographic photography makes every fact come alive for them. This is a perfect book for all children who like to discover what is astonishing, wild, or just plain weird in the world (and then amaze their family and friends with their incredible knowledge!)

9-12 year olds: The Dangerous Book for Boys, Canadian Edition by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden


(This week's 9-12 year old book recommendation was written by my 9 year old son, Noah, who is a walking encyclopedia and a very fine paper hat maker!)

For the Canadian boy who is 7 years old and up, this book is perfect. Learn how to make a battery, tripwire, pocketlight, go-kart, and the fastest paper airplane ever. Learn about and make secret inks, codes, and much more! Read the rules of soccer and lacrosse, countless hockey facts, and check out the pawprints of different animals. Believe it or not, that's just the beginning! Once you think you've done it all, take the challenge at the end of the book. Then, when you can check off everything, there you have it: you're now a Dangerous Boy. This non-fiction book is excellent for when you're bored-down-to-your-skull-absolutely-nothing-to-do-bored, and I have spent countless hours on Saturday and Sunday mornings reading this book, and on every night of the week. I had a blast making the paper hats in this book for Mom, Dad, Will and I. For any boys reading this, The Dangerous Book for Boys is your chance to become nearly legendary. (Thanks, Noah!)

The world is bursting with fascinating things to learn, and I'm very glad for these and many other wonderful non-fiction books that allow us to constantly fuel the boys' curiosity. I'd love to hear about the exciting discoveries your family has made lately!

The juggling act of parenthood

When you're a parent, there are days when everything feels just right: your children are healthy, your home is full of laughter, life is running smoothly, and you bask in the glow of the wonderful world you've created for yourself. Inevitably, though, there are also days when the juggling act you were so wonderfully managing is suddenly halted by the dropping of a ball or two, and it takes real effort to get things moving in sync again. Today was one of the latter kinds of days in our house.

I've written before about Will's unique personality; there are times when he needs help coping with ordinary situations that cause him an extraordinary amount of stress. This afternoon was supposed to be his first lesson in a new swimming session, and because most new experiences make Will anxious, he was ornery and teary, nervous and obnoxious in the hours leading up to his lesson time. I put a lot of effort into working through the coping techniques we've been taught to use with him, and finally managed to get him to agree that it was highly unlikely that he would drown during his class, and probable that he would actually have a good time. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when he went willingly out the door with Matt to drive to the pool, and then felt a sudden dread when I saw the two of them back in the driveway less than thirty minutes later. Will was grinning from ear to ear; apparently the lesson had been cancelled, and he was thrilled that he had got out of going. I couldn't believe it, and knew that we would be right back in the same position next Sunday when it came time for swimming again. Luck was definitely not on my side in the early part of the day. But no matter, we thought. We would carry on, and find something else active and hopefully fun to do with Will.

We decided to get a head start on teaching him to ride his bike without training wheels, a feat we'd attempted several times last summer without success, because our little perfectionist isn't interested in learning a new skill; he just wants to be able to do it (and do it well) right off the bat. (I have no idea where he gets this from!) After convincing Will that he wanted to try two-wheeling today, and not next week (read "next year" in Will's mind), Matt got him set up nicely on his bike and headed off down the sidewalk with him. A few short, wobbly rides later, a frustrated Will decided he had had enough of that, and so the bike riding adventure ended about as well as the swimming adventure had. We decided we would go inside and try once again to turn the mood of the day around.

When Will came inside, I realized with an impending sense of doom that I needed to do another saline sinus rinse on him. (His nose has been horribly congested lately due to alternating colds and allergies.) If you had been here for the first time I tried this procedure, you would have run for cover knowing I had to attempt it again. I understand that it's not a very comfortable feeling to have water shot up your nose, and I'm very aware that Will is more sensitive than some other children, but the unbearable sound of his screams (multiplied by a thousand in the bathroom because of the ceiling-to-floor, wall-to-wall ceramic tile that the previous owner installed) was more than enough to scar me permanently. I took a deep breath and managed to get it done, even with a hysterical Will screaming at me that HE WAS CERTAINLY GOING TO DIE FROM THIS!!! and by the end, both of us were exhausted and fed up with the day so far.

When we sat down to have a snack together, Will, who was much calmer by this point, put his hand on my arm, looked at me warmly and said, "You know, I love you Mom." I knew he meant it. And that's why I've got to keep juggling those balls, even on a day like today, when I'd like to throw them all as hard as I can out the window. He appreciates when I help him to keep it all together; he needs me to show him that when the balls drop, you can just pick them up again and keep going, even when it seems like you have more balls than you can possibly manage. Today was a tough day, but if my experience as a parent has taught me anything, there will be many more days to come when everything feels just right once again.

Easter weekend recipes: Take a peep!

After a morning of laughter between the boys and I over some silly jokes and tricks celebrating the first day of April, I've turned my thoughts to Easter, and to what delicious foods we might enjoy together over the upcoming holiday weekend. The nice part about Easter being so late this year is that it might actually feel like spring here by then. I'm very happy about the likelihood of being able to hide eggs in the grass instead of the snow, as we've had to do some Easter weekends past. I'm also looking forward to an Easter holiday menu that highlights some of our favourite spring flavours!

Kelly over at The Spunky Coconut will be posting an exciting roundup of gluten-free Easter recipes on her site the week before the holiday arrives, and she has asked her readers to share their favourites for this purpose. I automatically thought of one of our family's best-loved holiday dishes: the sweet potato casserole. Some of you may remember me posting this recipe back at Thanksgiving, but I think it's worth repeating here now so it can be shared with others. The casserole contains one of nature's best sweet treats of springtime (maple syrup!) and it makes a lovely accompaniment to roast turkey or ham.


Sweet Potato Casserole

For years, my mom has been practically world famous for an amazing sweet potato casserole that she makes for most holiday dinners. Even the pickiest child at the table (usually one of my boys!) gobbles up his or her orange veggies when they are prepared this way. Because some of our family members need to avoid gluten, dairy, eggs, and/or cane sugar, I have modified the original recipe quite a bit, but I am happy to report that my version is still a favourite with old and young alike.

For the casserole:

3 cups cooked, mashed sweet potatoes
1/3 cup unsweetened almond milk
1/4 cup real maple syrup
1 tsp vanilla

Stir these four ingredients together until well combined and place in a casserole dish that has been lightly greased with canola oil.

For the topping:

1/2 cup chopped pecans
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp allspice

In a small bowl, toss pecans with spices and then sprinkle them evenly on top of the sweet potato mixture. Bake sweet potato casserole in a 350 F oven for 30 minutes.


Note: You will want to double the recipe if you're having a large Easter gathering.

This dish can be made ahead and then reheated in time for Easter dinner, thus saving you from having too many things to do on the day of your big meal. (Warning: You may have to restrain yourself if you hope to have any sweet potato leftovers for the day after Easter!)

Over the next few weeks, I'll post other recipes that you might enjoy for your Easter weekend celebrations. If you're looking for something new to try, be sure to check out Kelly's roundup at The Spunky Coconut as Easter approaches -- she's certain to have an inspiring collection of dishes and desserts!