When he was small, my youngest son had a habit of filling his pockets with treasures he encountered in his daily adventures. I didn't always understand the value he saw in his chosen objects -- really, how many rocks and sticks could one boy keep? In his eyes, though, each one was beautiful and important. Life is just like that on a larger scale, isn't it? We gather up the precious bits of our experiences and save them all to learn from and enjoy later. Perhaps you'll find a little something here that you'd like to keep in your own pockets. Thanks for visiting.
Monday, June 27, 2016
Noah: Whoa! What is happening here?!
Me: I got tired of this bathroom.
Noah: Um, okaaayyy... Does Dad know about this?
I had to laugh at his reaction. In fact, his dad did not exactly know about my bathroom makeover plans. Matt and I had casually talked once or twice about doing a refresh in that room to tide us over until we're ready to do a major kitchen/main floor renovation. I had said that I should really paint the cabinet white, because it would look much better than the very 1980s wood grain that was currently there. And I had mentioned maybe changing up the dark brown wall colour I had chosen when we first moved in as a way to draw attention away from the uninviting and very limiting peachy-beige wall tile that a previous homeowner had installed two-thirds of the way up all of the bathroom walls. But I think I surprised even myself with how suddenly I decided to execute this plan.
(Okay, no, I actually didn't surprise myself.) I went out and got the paint on a whim at noon, and by the end of the day, in between various other commitments, I had the cabinet primed and painted white (SO much better!), new cabinet hardware installed, and the walls painted a striking deep shade of blue. All that was left to do was for Matt to install a new, more modern looking light fixture I had picked up, and help me hang a heavy new mirror, and then I should have been very happy.
Should have been....
As is often the case with home improvement projects, though, one thing tends to lead to another. After seeing the shiny new paint colours, I could not for one more second tolerate the now very dingy-looking peachy-beige wall tile everywhere. And so in a fit of perfectionism, I hauled out my paint brushes and cans again the next day and painted the ceramic tile white, too. I was a little scared about how that was going to work, but it turned out unpredictably well. And voila: a brighter, better-looking bathroom that happily surprised everyone! It's amazing sometimes what a big difference a few small changes can make.
We've been wrapping up more than quick bathroom makeovers this month. As the numbers on our chalkboard countdown-to-summer-holidays have grown smaller each week in June, so too have our outside commitments and responsibilities. Noah finished his volunteering at the swim club and his extra-curriculars at school for this season, and was recognized at his year end high school athletic banquet for his dedication and his accomplishments in sports and academics. I was so happy for him that his teachers and coaches see all the same amazing things in him that we do. He created an excellent first full year of high school for himself this year, devoting himself wholeheartedly to his courses and projects, his athletic and robotics teams and his volunteer work, and these awards were the icing on his cake.
Will performed wonderfully in his year end showcase for dance -- he and his friend Zach especially wowed the audience with their popping and locking duet. I wish I had a video of it to share here, as you'd have to actually see it to understand how impressive their striking unison with the music and each other was, and how vibrant their faces were as they told a very entertaining story through their movements. But the director of the studio told Will last week how many people had come to her and commented positively about that number after the show, and she has offered Will the opportunity to have a dance solo next season, which he is absolutely thrilled about!
Noah wrote his last exam this morning -- he is officially on summer holidays now -- and Will will join him at the end of the last school day on Thursday afternoon. We're all eager for lazy summer days together by the pool, for cottage time and fun visits with family, for many free hours for wondering and tinkering and creating new things. Long live the lighthearted summer months!
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
There was an article in our local newspaper this morning about a relationship contract drafted by an 8th grade girl and signed by an 8th grade boy, the written copy of which had been found on the floor of a classroom and then tweeted by Twitter user Max Linsky. Among the nine "terms and conditions" included in the contract were these clearly worded particulars:
"You can't talk hoes."
"You can't hug these hoes."
"You can't be looking at these hoes."
"You can't break my heart because if you break my heart I will break your face."
The contract went viral on the internet earlier in June. This morning's article suggested that the document was written by a "super smart" and "confident" girl "who knows exactly what she wants", and that while the conditions are "comical and arguably extreme", they actually provide lessons for adult couples about important relationship issues such as respect, conflict, and communication.
I might be missing something (does the word "hoes" mean something different now than it did when I was a teenager?), but I don't find anything comical or especially enlightening about any of the terms set out by this young woman for her prospective partner. Her confidence seems to come from putting other young women down, and from positioning herself as having complete control in the relationship with the young man.
I don't have teenaged daughters to talk to about relationships, but if I did, I would tell them the exact same things I've been telling my teenaged sons: it is never okay to call someone a ho, or to threaten violence, even jokingly, when someone has a different opinion or feeling than they do. As a parent, I'm disappointed that a contract such as this one would go viral because people find it comical. I'm assuming that the "hoes" the 8th grader is referring to are her fellow female schoolmates -- how does the use of such a derogatory term by a young woman make people see her as strong and smart? What reaction would we have if a young man were to use the same term? Is the threat of breaking someone's face as retribution for heartbreak okay when it's uttered by a girl?
Recent distressing news events like the Stanford assault case and the Orlando shootings have made parents keenly aware that there are important, ongoing conversations we need to have with all of our children about respect for other human beings. We should want both our boys and our girls to understand that name-calling and threats of physical injury are not acceptable. Sharing a contract like this one, or any other offensive words or images, over and over again on social media because it's "funny" sends everyone the wrong message.
If my sons decide to date one day, would I like them to be in relationships with strong, smart, confident young women who know exactly what they want? Absolutely. I just hope that their girlfriends' confidence comes not from insulting other young women or thinking they have a right to break a boy's face, but from having a healthy, positive sense of self and knowing how to communicate their feelings and needs intelligently and respectfully. I want my boys to be treated with the same consideration with which I expect them to treat others.
If we want to widely circulate a lesson about relationships in the media, let's make it this one: there should be no double standard when it comes to courtesy in human interactions. Let's hold all of our young people, boys and girls, to the same high standards of kindness.
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
The warm months are my most favourite time of the year for food. Every week there is something new in the gardens or at the farmers' market for us to enjoy, and it seems almost effortless to put together meals that are full of appealing colours and flavours. Today I'm sharing a recipe for a simple, hearty pasta salad that I often make to serve a crowd during the fun-filled summer months.
Mediterranean Pasta Salad
(adapted from this recipe from Chatelaine magazine)
3 generous cups dry fusili pasta (I used a gluten-free brown rice version)
1 540ml can romano beans, drained and rinsed
half of each of a sweet red, yellow, and orange bell pepper, diced
1/2 cup kalamata olives, pitted and halved
1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
1 tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice
the zest of one small lemon
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/8 tsp sea salt
Cook the pasta according to the package directions. Drain, and rinse under cold running water until cooled. Allow pasta to sit in the colander for a few minutes to drain well.
In a large bowl, whisk together the olive oil, red wine vinegar, lemon juice, lemon zest, garlic, and salt. Add the cooked pasta, romano beans, sweet peppers, olives, and parsley to the bowl and toss gently to combine. Serve immediately, or refrigerate for later.
This colourful salad is really easy to prepare and is perfect make-ahead side dish or main for all kinds of summer eating: potlucks, family barbecues, picnics, a quick and healthy lunch on the go. (Simply double the recipe for a larger crowd.) Enjoy the coming season of delicious food and happy times with family and friends!
Thursday, June 2, 2016
If you live in the Waterloo area and are interested in doing some in-person shopping for handmade treasures, you can visit the Etsy Local Market at RIM Park this Saturday. There will be more than sixty creative and talented artisans displaying their handiwork there, and admission and parking are free. It's a good place to discover something new and lovely to add to your collection.
Have a wonderful June weekend!
*Full disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for shopping Etsy through Pocketfuls.