Robin reflection

Photo credit:  commons.wikimedia.org

 



One day early last week I heard a different sort of bird call than the ones I'm used to hearing in our yard, so I went out on the back deck to investigate.  I discovered on the lawn a young robin (not the fuzzy little baby kind, but the kind that is on his way to making it on his own in the world -- he was almost full-sized, with real feathers, but a white spotted belly and a bit of fluff here and there that revealed his tender age), and he was accompanied by a mature robin who appeared to be his mum. 

I stood and smiled in fascination for awhile at the simple beauty of the scene.  As the robin mum hopped here and there across our yard, looking for food, the little robin hopped curiously a short distance behind her, his head cocked to one side as if he were taking things in from a new perspective.  Sometimes he would take an opportunity to hop a ways off on his own in a different direction from his mum, pecking the ground to see what interesting things he might find there; other times he ran squawking up close behind her, and his mum would pop whatever appealing morsel she had found in the grass into his gaping beak.

Every day since that first spotting, I've been listening and watching for that little robin and his mum, and every day, to my delight, they've appeared multiple times to perform together this same sweet dance of life.  While I've experienced the pleasure of seeing birds build nests and care for eggs in our yard several times since we've moved to this house and yard, I don't remember ever watching a bird family at this later stage of development before, and it seems fitting and symbolic when I realize that this is the same dance my own little family is now performing.  Noah and Will amaze me all the time with the things they're learning and accomplishing on their own these days, and it's a marvel to me to see the strong personal identities and confidences that are emerging in each of them.  (Sometimes, too, the boys still squawk at me because there remain some situations where they do need their mum!)

A few days ago, I heard the now-familiar shrill chirping of the little robin coming from the front of the house, along with a flutter of activity and some scraping sounds against the brick.  I slowly opened the front door to find the little robin attempting some unsuccessful landings on our house light fixture, and then on our window ledge. His awkwardness caused him to tumble roughly into the garden, where he then stood for awhile in a daze. I was worried for him at that point, wondering what he was going to do next and if he needed any help, but seconds later my concern vanished as I saw his mum suddenly appear on our walkway. She stayed back, but called out a few notes of encouragement, and the little robin managed to pick himself up and fly off into a nearby tree. Seeing his success made me want to both cheer and cry.

I have always been moved by the sweet scenes of animal life in our yard, but this bird family has struck a particularly poignant chord in my heart because I feel in some ways that I'm looking in a mirror when I watch these common yet significant moments of their lives. I wonder if that robin mum feels even a smidgen of the same immense pride I do when I see my boys accomplish something truly wonderful on their own. I wonder if she realizes how quickly time is passing, and if her little bird heart will both soar and ache when she one day watches her baby bravely spread his wings and head off into the great wide world without her.

Rainbow Bean Salad

On a recent Saturday morning trip to Vincenzo's (a fantastic food store in town), Matt and I picked up a couple of servings of a yummy looking bean salad to have for lunch.  It ended up being as delicious as it looked, and I realized that I could very easily recreate something similar at home.  With a few cans of beans, some fresh veggies and herbs, and a simple lemon-based dressing, this homemade version of bean salad has become one of our new favourite summer eats.

Nutrition experts recommend eating all the colours of the rainbow for optimal health benefits; this salad combines almost all of those colours in one very tasty, nutrient-packed dish! 

Rainbow Bean Salad

For the salad:

1 540ml can of red kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 540ml can of chick peas, drained and rinsed
1 540ml can of black beans, drained and rinsed
1 cup fresh green beans, cut into 3/4 inch pieces
1 cup frozen corn kernels (thawed by running under cool water)
half of a sweet red bell pepper, diced
half of a sweet orange bell pepper, diced
1/3 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

For the dressing:

the juice of three small lemons, freshly squeezed
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 clove of garlic, minced
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp raw honey
sea salt and pepper, to taste

Bring a small saucepan of water to a boil on the stove top.  Add the chopped green beans and cook them for approximately 30 seconds.  Quickly drain the beans and run them under cold water to stop the cooking process.

In a large bowl, combine the kidney beans, chick peas, black beans, blanched green beans, corn kernels, red and orange pepper, red onion, and parsley, mixing them gently together with a large spoon.

In a jar with a tight fitting lid, combine the lemon juice, red wine vinegar, olive oil, garlic, Dijon mustard, honey, sea salt and pepper.  Shake vigorously until all ingredients are well mixed together, then pour the dressing over the salad ingredients.   Gently toss the salad until it is well coated with the dressing. 

This salad is best made several hours ahead of when you want to serve it, so after assembling it, cover the salad and keep it in the refrigerator for awhile to allow the flavours to blend and intensify.

This colourful, healthy salad is very easy to put together and makes a great addition to summer potlucks, picnics, and backyard barbecues.  Here's to simple and delicious summer eating!

Up and at 'em

Our day started at 5:15 yesterday morning.  It was a little (um, okay, a lot) early for a Saturday, but we needed to be up and ready by 6:15 to drive to an out-of-town swim meet with Noah. I had to laugh at the very different ways Noah and Will handled this early rising; the contrast spoke volumes about their different personalities.

Noah emerged groggily from his room shortly after his alarm went off, and wandered aimlessly around the upstairs hall for awhile with his eyes still closed, mumbling barely comprehensible questions at me about what he was supposed to be doing to get ready.  He groaned when spoken to, moved slowly with his shoulders slumped forward and a forlorn face, and once he somehow managed to drag himself into the car, he sat there like a lump with the hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head and didn't move or speak.  After about an hour he eventually perked right up, and seemed ready and excited for the swimming challenges he had ahead of him.  He had just needed a little time (alone and quiet) to get there.

Will, on the other hand, bounded out of bed the instant his eyes opened (before his alarm even went off) and came to find me right away so he could explain to me in great detail exactly what he was going to do and in what order to be ready on time.  He ate a bowl of granola, read the morning comics, got dressed and brushed his teeth and made his bed in a flash, and danced his way out to the car.  By the time we reached the highway, he had written three entertaining poems, given an enthusiastic (and loud, because he was yelling at us over the music he was listening to through his headphones) description of a car game he invented called "Monkey Run", built the Toronto Maple Leafs logo out of plasticine, and drawn a rather impressive self-portrait on a mini Etch-a-Sketch.  He didn't need any time at all; he was there likely before he even woke up.

Observing the boys over the years and learning about their unique personalities has interestingly also helped me to better understand my own.  And what I realize very clearly now is that while I can get up and go with as much enthusiasm and inspiration as Will can, too much of that level of activity eventually leaves me feeling like Noah when he gets woken up too early:  like I want to sit alone and silent like a lump for awhile.  These crazy June weeks, filled with all kinds of wonderful school and sport activities that I love to be a part of and people whose company I really enjoy, also leave me feeling drained, because there's no time in between anything for me to sit and breathe and think.  I forget sometimes how much I need that until I don't have it for awhile. 

Luckily this really busy time is short-lived; in a couple of weeks, everything will wind down and we'll each be able to choose how much or how little we want to do with our time.  If you don't hear too much from me around here until then, know that I'm just maxed out from trying to play the real-life version of Monkey Run, and am preserving my sanity by taking the few free moments I can find to sit in blissful peacefulness with my hood over my head. 

 

Seeds of happiness

I'm feeling very happy today.  There is no special reason why; in fact, if I wanted to look into certain dark corners in my mind, the ones where I store all of the "what ifs" pertaining to upcoming stressful events (like sitting in a court room for an unspecified number of days beginning next week for the purpose of jury selection!), I could find lots of reasons to feel anxious. But today I don't want or need to look in there. Somehow in the past few years, I have slowly been learning that worrying excessively about things that are far off or that might not even happen doesn't help me much, while focusing on what is good and real and actually happening right now provides a wealth of wonderful experiences and feelings. Today I'm grateful to have lots of little reasons to feel joy.

*After three summers of trying to convince Will that riding a two-wheeled bike is great fun (while he tearfully and angrily disagreed with us as we tried to help him practice countless times), we finally had the pleasure of going on a family bike ride together around the neighbourhood this past weekend.  Will flew down the sidewalk without any help, leading the pack with confidence and glee, and I could hear him exclaiming "This is AWESOME!!!".  It's incredible to me that a boy who was so certain that bike riding was an awful activity that would surely result in him being injured, now loves that same activity so much that he asks someone to go biking with him six times a day.  (I'm not exaggerating, either!)  I'm so happy for him that he was able to overcome his fear and frustration, and that he now feels the exhilaration of having accomplished something wonderful that didn't come easily for him.

*Tomorrow I get to accompany Noah and his classmates as a parent volunteer on their field trip to African Lion Safari, an outing we're both really looking forward to.  I checked with Noah before I offered to go, as I've become quite aware this year that the eleven and twelve year old crowd finds the mere presence of their parents at group activities "embarrassing", but Noah graciously told me it was fine for me to be there.  I learn new things all the time while I'm navigating a different kind of relationship with my oldest child, trying to give him the space and increased responsibility he needs while still letting him know that I'm here for him and interested in his life.  Out of curiosity and a desire to "get it right", I asked Noah what he might consider "embarrassing" behaviour on my part that I should avoid while I was on this field trip, and I was told not to do things like tell him to eat his vegetables at lunch or share any embarrassing stories about him from when he was little.  I told him that would be no problem, and then mentioned that if he really wanted to know what embarrassing parent behaviour was, he could talk to his Granny and his Great Grandma Atkinson about the times they tap danced in funny hats, or jumped in the pool fully dressed and holding umbrellas at birthday parties when my aunt Christina and I were kids.  (I realize now that I'm older and wiser that I'm very lucky to have grown up with two such lively and fun women!)  Anyway, tomorrow I will keep my vegetable comments to myself, and will have fun watching baboons outside the chartered bus windows without worrying this time that the crazy critters are going to destroy my personal vehicle! (And maybe I'll tap dance, just for fun.)

*I got our vegetable garden planted this weekend in between rain showers, and under the arc of a beautiful rainbow that appeared in the sky just as I was covering over the last of the seeds with soil. The new beds are now lined with rows for red and yellow peppers, zucchini, carrots, peas, green and yellow beans, radishes, kale, spinach, cucumbers, little red and yellow tomatoes, arugula, and mesclun mix. I've got several pots of herbs planted on the deck now, too, right near the kitchen door. I find so much happiness in the simple act of growing food, and apparently, my work in this area also makes someone else happy. This morning I came downstairs and looked out the window to find a small brown rabbit lying right across the soil in one of the vegetable beds. It was like he knew I had planted the seeds and was just waiting for his lunch to grow! Time to get the chicken wire fence up, I think.... (Don't feel bad for the bunnies, though -- we sometimes leave little veggie garden treats on the lawn for them during the growing season.)

*I have had many, many new visitors to Pocketfuls over the past three days, and that has made me very happy, too!  Apparently lots of people are interested in the banana split freezer pops I made last week.  Thanks to Meg's Gluten Free Goodies board on Pinterest and a very kind mention from Amy at Simply Sugar and Gluten-Free, I've been able to share this recipe with visitors from all over the place (and Noah and Will are having fun seeing the many different country flags pop up on my traffic feed!).  I love writing from my heart in this space, and sharing the things that I work hard on in my kitchen and am excited about -- I would do it even if it was just me reading it -- but it's such a wonderful feeling to know that people think something I've created is worth looking at.  I hope new and old readers will continue to find things that they enjoy here. 

Blue skies and warm sunshine, children's laughter and cute, furry critters, good conversations and moments spent doing what we love... these are the small seeds that can grow a lush garden of happiness in our hearts if we let them take root. 

Banana split freezer pops (gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan)

The boys were at home all day today because it was a P.A. Day at school.  In the midst of several very busy weeks, it was really nice to have a free afternoon to hang out with them by the pool and to hear them laughing and having fun together.   The weather was hot and felt very summery, and as is usual for this time of year, I was inspired to think of new ideas for frozen treats that I could make for everyone to enjoy cooling off with.

We sometimes like to make banana splits for dessert after dinner on summer days, using coconut milk ice cream with pineapple, strawberries, cherries, a drizzle of dark chocolate, and some chopped walnuts for toppings.  I figured why not do all of the prep work in advance and make banana split freezer pops that could be easily enjoyed when the weather called for them.  These pops are full of fresh fruit and have no added sugar (other than what is in the dark chocolate) -- they're a naturally sweet and delicious summer treat!

Banana Split Freezer Pops

2 ripe bananas
1 cup fresh pineapple chunks
1 cup coconut milk (I used Thai Kitchen brand)
1/2 cup finely chopped fresh or frozen strawberries
1/2 cup finely chopped fresh or frozen sweet cherries
1/3 cup chopped dark chocolate (at least 70% cocoa)
a handful of walnuts, finely chopped

Place the two bananas, the pineapple chunks, and the coconut milk in a food processor and process on high speed, stopping once to scrape down the sides of the bowl if necessary, until a smooth mixture forms.  Gently stir in the finely chopped strawberries and cherries.

Pour or spoon the mixture into popsicle molds (or into eight 5 oz. Dixie cups, as I did).  Place a popsicle stick in the centre of each mold, and set the molds in the freezer for several hours, or until the pops are frozen solid.

Once the pops are frozen, melt the dark choocolate in a small saucepan over low heat, stirring often.  Working quickly, remove the banana split pops from their molds, and drizzle dark chocolate over the top of each one with a spoon.  Sprinkle finely chopped walnuts over top of the chocolate immediately after drizzling it on each pop, before the chocolate hardens.  Return the finished pops to the freezer for a few minutes to allow chocolate to set completely.   Serve and enjoy!

 

Are you looking for some other cool (and healthy) treats to enjoy now that hot summery days have arrived?  You may also like these frosty fudge pops, or these frosty fruit pops in several different flavours.  Yum!

Perfect

We walk along the sidewalk together on the way to school and the morning sun draws cheerful shadows of you and I on the grass alongside and just ahead of us.  Suddenly you are laughing and moving in irregular starts and stops behind me, and when I look back to see what you're up to, your beautiful face is all twinkling eyes and mischievous grin.  You point to our shadows and tell me to watch, and then you creep forward at a measured pace with your ball cap covered head tilted just the right way.  Suddenly your silhouette becomes the jaws of a giant creature that swallows my shadowy head whole.  I laugh with you, because being caught up in your many wonderful moments of carefree imagination fills me with an indescribable lightness and joy.

***

We walk along the sidewalk together on the way home from school, and I can almost see the dark cloud of worry swirling above your head.  You are silent for a few moments, and then, when you are sure we are alone, you look at me with misty eyes and quivering lips and open up your heart:  you made a mistake on a question you wrote an answer to at school. This one, tiny mistake in the midst of so many things you've done right and suddenly forgotten about has become an enormous weight you now carry on your small shoulders.  You are certain that we are going to be upset with you, that your report card is now going to somehow be a disappointment,  that the school is going to think you're no longer gifted.  I want to hug you and cry with you because I understand exactly how an honest, insignificant mistake can quickly grow into something monstrous that wants to swallow you whole.

Perfectionism is a beast sometimes; it can sneak up even on the unsuspecting young. Once when I was a child, I came home from school with a picture where my colourful crayon marks had slipped out of the lines. I showed it to my mom and wailed inconsolably, "You're not going to like this!".  This moment was only one in a long line of life situations where I've been relentless and unforgiving with myself whenever I've made a mistake. So many times I have set unrealistic standards for myself at school, in work, in motherhood, as a human being, and have felt like an utter disappointment to everyone when I've felt that I've failed to live up to them. 

This is not the kind of worry I wish for you in life, my sweet boy.  I want you to see yourself for the amazing person you are, to believe that you are every bit as smart and funny and thoughtful and kindhearted as I know you to be.  I want you to feel free to delve deeply into that wonderfully creative mind of yours to explore and share what you find there, without being afraid that others will think you're somehow wrong.  I want you to accept that trying your best at what you do is always something to be proud of, even if you don't succeed right away.   I want you to learn from experience that sometimes colouring outside of the lines and making mistakes is exactly what allows you to grow and to eventually see the world in a new and exciting way.  I want you to know that you are your own worst critic, and that if you can love yourself with all of your imperfections, you will realize just how those who know and care deeply for you really feel about you, too.

Life will be full of challenges that will inevitably lead to you making mistakes; that is a certainty.  But if you come to see your mistakes as necessary, even welcome, stepping stones on the path to deeper experience, understanding, and feeling, they will suddenly seem much less huge and fearsome.  I hope you'll come to me whenever you need a reminder of this.  I believe you and I can learn to tame the beast together.

Strawberry Rhubarb Muffins (gluten-free, vegan)

This morning I made my first trip up to the farmers' market since last fall.  I knew there wouldn't be a whole lot of new produce to buy yet, but I've had rhubarb on the brain since someone mentioned it a few days ago, and I knew that at the market I would find rosy, fresh stems that would taste as good as the ones I used to pick and eat out of my family's backyard when I was a child.   My trip to the market didn't disappoint, and on the way home I could feel my face puckering up in anticipation of the delightfully sour taste while I decided what I would make first with my large rhubarb bunch.

Because I also had some strawberries in the fridge at home, I chose to bake some muffins this afternoon using them, the rhubarb, and almond flour.  These muffins are super scrumptious, seriously!  They are moist and flavourful with a delicious crunchy topping, naturally sweet, and good for you, too.  :)

Strawberry Rhubarb Muffins

2 cups blanched almond flour
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup + 1 tbsp arrowroot powder
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 tbsp pure maple syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped fresh rhubarb
1/2 cup chopped fresh strawberries

For the topping:

1/4 cup certified pure rolled oats
1/3 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1 tbsp coconut sugar
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp melted coconut oil

Preheat the oven to 350 F.  Add the almond flour, sea salt, baking soda, arrowroot powder, and cinnamon to a large mixing bowl and stir to combine.  In a smaller bowl, whisk together the melted coconut oil, applesauce, maple syrup, and vanilla.  Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir until a smooth batter forms.  Fold in the rhubarb and strawberries.

Line 10 cups in a muffin tin with paper liners.  Spoon the batter into the paper cups.

In a small bowl, stir together the rolled oats, pecans or walnuts, coconut sugar and ground cinnamon.  Drizzle the melted coconut over top of this mixture and stir until well-combined.  Sprinkle a spoonful of the topping over each unbaked muffin.

Bake for approximately 30 minutes, or until the muffin tops are golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the centre of a muffin comes out clean.  Cool and serve.

 

These muffins make a wonderful breakfast or snack food and may even convince your non-rhubarb eaters to give the vegetable a try.  I hope you enjoy them!